Tuesday, October 7, 2008

No Kitty, that's MY pot pie!

My husband and I traded stories about food fights after reading THIS, a short article about a man that stabbed his brother over a Hot Pocket. For those of you that don’t know, it’s a frozen turnover filled with a cheese-like substance and either ham or pepperoni, broccoli for you vegetarians, which is then microwaved. Not exactly what I’d guess would spur a knife fight.

My sister and I once fought over a Tyson frozen and breaded chicken patty with the bonus nuggets of processed cheese, and while I don’t remember who won, I do remember dragging her around the kitchen island by her hair. I was 12 and it was summer break and my parents worked- things got a little Lord of The Flies around the house by August.

My husband remembers a brawl with his older brother, when his Easter basket came up short of Peeps.

My family was torn in half by the Great Barbecue Incident- my grandmother told my cousin she could have the leftovers, and then grandma told my aunt she could have the leftovers. People picked sides and then people went to different churches for a while.

There’s that famous poem by William Carlos Williams, where he apologizes for eating the plums… but it’s not really an apology. Those plums were tasty delicious, he wrote that poem to avert a possible argument but I bet he’d eat those plums again. George HW Bush uttered his famous oath- I am the President of the United States and I am not going to eat any more broccoli. I presume he and Bar argued for years over his green vegetable intake, but that declaration pretty much tears it. Jerry Seinfeld had quite a few episodes about food fights- Elaine and the big salad, Jerry stole a loaf of bread, the Soup Nazi. I’ve heard about mushroom hunters fighting over mushroom hunting grounds.

All this begs the question: What food is worth fighting over?


Anonymous Dana McCauley said...

Chocolate, of course!

October 8, 2008 at 6:09 AM  
Blogger Eric Levin said...

California dried apricots, those nice soft tart ones that kick-start your salivary glands.

By comparison, Turkish apricots, which are ubiquitous, are puffy, pale and bland.

California apricots are increasingly hard to find. The supermarket kind are likely to be tough as leather.

The kind of stores that have wooden floors and sell dried beans and whole grains in bulk are likely to carry those intensely sweet/tart, almost umber California apricots, the kind that make the corners of my mouth ache with salivary anticipation.

October 9, 2008 at 7:34 AM  
Blogger Kathleen said...

When I was still on formula, my brothers and sisters got into a fight over one of those variety packs of "sugar" cereal that was so severe that my dad gathered them all up in his arms and threw them outside in the snow. He warned them not to go after them.

For the rest of the Michigan winter, they would cup their hands and look out the window to see the cereal in the snow...

October 9, 2008 at 8:58 PM  
Blogger Nikki said...

Any food is worth fighting for, if you're hungry. Did I tell you about my Economic Crisis: I'm Too Poor To Buy Food Diet? It's working well. I fit into a pair of pants that were too tight in 2001. Why they're still around? I don't know. But they fit now. That's the good thing.

October 11, 2008 at 3:43 PM  
Anonymous Sabra said...

I agree with Nikki, any food is worth fighting for. Well with the exception of greens, not so much my thing. But back to the question, it's got to depend on where you are. Foods from other countries are much desired here, does it work the other way? Would someone in Yemen battle for a McDonald's French Fry?

October 11, 2008 at 10:51 PM  

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